CHANGE FOR GOOD

With 2026 just around the corner, you may be contemplating one or more New Year Resolutions. However, such 'commitments' often fail, with most giving up on their best laid plans within weeks. What can we do to help ensure change sticks, for good?

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

I'm a great believer in mindset, particularly the concept of 'growth mindset' – the idea that our abilities and behaviours are not fixed but can be developed through practice. Back in late November, I was talking about this concept with my 11-year-old daughter, as growth mindset is a central theme in a book that she was reading that had been gifted to her by a friend (You are Awesome by Matthew Syed). We were talking about areas where our mindset might be somewhat 'fixed' and, for me, what came up was my attitude to learning languages. For a long time, I've told myself that 'languages are not my thing'. So, in the moment, I made a decision to 'turn off this script', and turn on another one that goes more along the lines of 'I am perfectly capable of learning a new language'. The natural choice for me is Portuguese, as I live in Portugal and it's one of the two languages that are spoken in our home.

EXCITE THE IMAGINATION

A useful next step is to have a positive vision of the change we are seeking to effect. In my case, this involved enjoying speaking Portuguese to others, including my daughter, family members, waiters, shop assistants and the like. Perhaps even more powerfully, it helps if we can connect with a genuine sense of excitement with this new, upgraded version of ourselves.

SYSTEMS OVER GOALS

The positive, exciting image we conjure is a destination, but journeys take time. A potential pitfall here is that we may put off enjoyment, reward and satisfaction until we achieve our ultimate goal. The risk here is that the 'journey' itself can be a bit of a grind. I first became aware of this phenomenon several years ago, on reading How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams. What Adams advocates (and I agree with him) is focusing on the systems or processes that get us towards our goal, and deriving reward and satisfaction each time we apply the system.

It also helps for the system or process to be realistic and sustainable (and for us to not bite off more than we can chew).

In my case, after some research, I settled on a specific app, paid the fee, and committed to at least daily half-hour lessons.

Learning a language (like developing any new skill or behaviour) takes time. But I am genuinely enjoying the process, and am already using what I have learned way before being what one might call 'fluent'.

In

summary, here's a sort of roadmap for making New Year (or any other time) resolutions stick:

1.  CULTIVATE A GROWTH MINDSET AROUND THE CHANGE

2.  HAVE A POSITIVE IMAGE IN YOUR MIND MIND ABOUT THE 'IMPROVED' VERSION OF YOURSELF OR SITUATION, AND BE EXCITED BY IT

3.  COMMIT TO A REALISTIC, SUSTAINABLE SYSTEM THAT WORKS TOWARDS YOUR GOAL, AND DERIVE REWARD AND SATISFACTION EVERY TIME YOU APPLY THE SYSTEM